Sunday, October 31, 2010


Take 1
I was late 40s early 50s for the Spark Halloween party. And I think I look exactly like my mother.

Take 2
If you can't tell who I am, I feel sorry for you. I am Dora the Explorer, standing next to my friend Lindsey Lohan.

Take 3
Camilla and Austin were having a party and I wanted to go but didn't really want to dress up again so I went as a French person. The scarf and beret made that outfit. Emily is Mrs. Obama, Nicole is missing her outfit which was a Glad trash bag, it was actually really clever, David was Hefty and she was Glad.....maybe you just had to be there......and Amber is Princess Peach.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

so domestic

This past Sunday I tried to make empanadas. It was an ultimate fail. I kneaded the dough, which apparently is a big no no, because it caused the dough to break apart. So basically I wasted lots of flour and shortening. I had to wait until Monday, when I could go buy more shortening to try again. And finally...after 2 hours...I came up with these......
and they were delicious. I just wish it didn't take so long to make.

Monday, October 18, 2010

oh so funny.....and true

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.

LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in'
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got
the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she
hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey but I bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3
feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

Friday, October 15, 2010


I keep going back and forth


no bangs.

Most days I want bangs

and then usually regret them.

What should I do?

Thursday, October 14, 2010


I wish answers to our questions were written in the sky.

Or that someone could make my decisions for me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

oh yeah

I read The Hunger Games series in a week after Katie literally threw the books at my face.

Interesting.....very I'm just waiting for the movies

I should dedicate that much time to finishing my stupid class

New car

Meet my new 2010 Honda Civic named Zoe

I am now accepting applications to be your sugar mama.

Birthday recap

A few weekends ago Caitlin, Katie, and I had a triple birthday party.
Katie turned 22 on September 12.
I turned 23 on September 28.
And Caitlin turned 20 on September 29.

We had a lot of delicious food

As well as a little bocce ball and badminton (not pictured)

Weekend trip

I went to Texas this past weekend for my cousin's wedding.

Flew out Thursday at 5 PM, arrived at 10 PM. Wedding on Friday. Flew out of SA at 4 PM on Saturday, got back into SLC at 7:30 PM. I've decided I don't like flying. Seriously get a headache every time. I'm pretty sure it's a sign of old age.

This was me the entire 5 hours of the wedding.

My mom told me it must be in preparation of my life to come.

The children love me.