Tuesday, August 16, 2011

things we all do


it's how i'm entertaining myself today. i don't think they all apply to me but some of them for sure do.

like all of these...

267. i check my phone every 60 seconds when i'm waiting for a reply to something important because i think i won't hear the notification go off

247. i get ready to say something during a conversation, then the subject changes

240. that split second when you've rocked too far back on your chair's hind legs and you think you're about to die

239. looking all over for something, then realizing you had it in your hand

232. when i realize i overslept, i jump out of bed like a ninja

231. i make up a dream in my head before i go to sleep

216. i always take a peek out of my 3D glasses, just to see the difference

214. i hate when i'm dreaming and i can only move in slow motion

212. i'm scared to close my eyes in the shower because when i open them, i don't want a killer to be standing there

204. i wouldn't know anyone's birthday if it wasn't for facebook

201. i never know what i should do when people are singing "happy birthday" to me

198. hearing your voice on video and asking yourself if that's really how you sound

197. when i'm sleeping at a friend's house and i wake up before them, i sit there staring at the ceiling for an hour

186. i wish music played during epic moments of my life, and not just in movies

185. i walk a little faster when i see a creepy van

183. laughing so hard with no sound coming out, then end up clapping like a seal

180. i say "nevermind" because i'm just too lazy to repeat myself

179. the "would you still be my friend if i looked like this?" game

176. sometimes when i'm walking, i try to keep my feet in the little square tiles

173. the mini heart attack you get when you slip on ice

172. responding to texts while half asleep, then realizing you make no sense

170. lying in bed wondering it it's worth it to get up and pee

167. i run like a ninja to get my charger when my computer is about to die

159. flushing the toilet in the middle of the night might just be the loudest sound i've ever heard

158. i text so much faster when i'm fighting with someone

156. automatically hit ignore when i don't recognize the number calling

154. yelling at the main characters in horror movies thinking they will hear me

151. thank you hand sanitizer for letting me know i have a cut on my hand

150. i open the fridge a million times thinking food will magically appear

149. i never stick my leg off the edge of the bed, no matter how hot it is because it would get eaten off

143. when i see "friend is typing..." i stop typing

142. i hate when i'm about to drive into my driveway and my favorite song comes on

141. i don't change in front of my webcam because i'm scared people will see me

140. i save song titles as drafts in my phone so i can remember to download them later

138. when i'm in the shower, i slant my arm in a way to make it look like water is coming out of my fingers

113. when i was little i'd watch the raindrops roll down the window and see which one "won"

105. i think of something, then laugh alone like an idiot

101. i'll see perfectly untouched snow and get the sudden urge to run through it

97. i type out what i really want to say, then backspace the whole thing

95. when i read a sentence in capital letters, the voice in my head yells

94. i get a mini heart attack when someone says "can i talk to you?"

86. i re-play my favorite song over and over again until i get sick of it and don't like it anymore

81. i text someone in the same room as me and stare at them until they get it

79. i still use my fingers to do simple math equations

77. i say "haha" after a text so it won't sound so serious

76. i try to accomplish a task before the microwave hits 00:00

73. i leave the bathroom door open when i'm home alone

64. i'll feel my phone vibrate when it doesn't

63. when i wake up in the morning, the first thing i do is pee

59. when i'm home alone i blast my music extremely loud

58. i hate when people don't know the difference between there, they're, and their

49. i'll zone out only to realize i'm staring at a person

48. when i finish a test, i won't turn it in until someone else does

39. when i go to sleep, i cover my feet in the blankets because i'm scared someone's going to grab them

38. i go crazy when there's someone in front of me walking slow

36. i have to sing my ABCs to know which letter comes next in the alphabet

34. i run up the stairs really quick after shutting the lights off in the basement

32. i step on a leaf on the ground to hear the crunchy sound it makes

30. when my computer freezes i click everywhere thinking it will make a difference

29. when i'm home alone i assume every sound i hear is a murderer coming to kill me

26. before i go to sleep, i think of all the moments i want to relive

21. my voice suddenly sounds great in the shower and i convince myself i'm an amazing singer

17. i imagine scenarios in my head that will never happen in real life

10. when i'm alone in public, i look at my cell phone so i don't feel awkward

9. i overhear funny conversations but won't laugh because if i do they'll think i'm a creep

4. i throw my phone across the room after sending a risky text

2. i smile at my phone like an idiot while i'm texting you


{if you actually read through all of these, i applaud you. you now know lots about me.}

1 comment:

Camille said...

true that to almost all of these!